Holding Space

I've learned so much in the past few months . I feel like i've grown in leaps and bounds...my head and heart have opened. I've learned to forgive and to let go, I've learned how to love unconditionally . I've learned how to " HOLD SPACE". I'm learning each and every day how to JUST BE. There is power in strength in holding space versus desperation in waiting for something to happen, they are not one in the same.


Holding Space
What it means to me is:

Letting Go of Judgement
not judging another persons actions and instead allowing them to evolve at their own time and pace without feeling the need to comment,criticize or judge.

Opening Your Heart
Allowing your heart to be open and remain open while holding space. Speaking , Doing and Being from a place of unconditional Love.

Allowing things to JUST BE
Allowing the other person to go through the experience without trying to control the outcome. Not giving input or pushing things in one direction or another, simply being there for them with no expectation. Trusting the process.

Holding space for another person is a beautiful thing, it takes strength, courage, patience , trust and faith.  It is the intention to allow things to unfold just as they may.

Many situations can require holding space for another : birth, death, healing, divorce, end of a job or relationship or many other life changes. The key is to allow yourself and the other person to Just Be and to trust the process. 

In Peace and Love,
-A

Yoga and Divorce

Yoga and Divorce

A story of love, marriage, divorce and finding myself. And Yoga, don't forget Yoga!

I joked with a friend that yoga caused me to get divorced. Not completely accurate but a lot of truth to it. My marriage had been in that “state”of stuck for a long time. We were roommates raising children and sharing a home for years. Our level of interest in one another was pretty low, it became more of a challenge to communicate with one another and doing things together was more of routine than anything else. Everything became routine. And as we all know, routine gets boring. Feeling lonely in a marriage is big NO NO. When two people are unhappy why do we feel the need to continue in that unhappiness? To force things for the sake of our children or stay together because of what others will think. Thus teaching our children that its ok to stay in an unhappy situation, to find comfort in unhappiness? We lived in a clouded haze for years, the days just melting into one another, year after year and led everyone else to think that all was perfect. After all, we had everything that should make someone happy. A well paying job, a nice home in an affluent neighborhood, 3 wonderful children and anything else that society deems necessary to obtain happiness. What was missing was our connection with one another: openness, trust, vulnerability and the ability to listen. These are all the foundation for a deeper connection, a connection of the souls.

Going through a yoga teacher training program made me aware of so much more. For the first time in a long time I felt like I was understanding who I was again. I was regaining my power and filling my heart and soul in a way that I never had before. This was amazing for me, yet not so amazing for a relationship that was not so stable and which suddenly made my husband feel like he no longer knew who I was. I felt kind of weird saying it, but it was true. He thought his wife had an alter ego or was in need of therapy but in actuality this is who I had always been deep down it side. The "real me" had been covered up and hidden while I became a person that I was supposed to be . I had lost myself.

I had friends ask how I was so calm and positive during my divorce. The only response I had was: Yoga. I'm not an expert on anything, so don’t expect any “aha” moments here, just my truth. I am 43 44 year old mom of 3 that decided she wanted to change her life and had enough courage to do so. Somehow I didn't go completely nuts or become depressed and I owe it to Yoga. So over the next few posts I'll be sharing, my ups and downs and how Yoga somehow kept me sane during my divorce.

Grab a glass of wine and turn the page.

The Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago my life was so different . I was complacent, living day to day but not enjoy life. Everything was a task to be done and most things seemed like a hassle. I had lost my drive, my spirit , my sparkle so to say. I was lost within my own body, a stranger to myself. All of the labels that others had given me were there, but to me they were just THAT.. Labels and nothing more.

The forst thing I did was I learned to say NO! I say no to things that do not align with who I am.. Things that I know are not good for me or my family get a firm and flat out NO.. And no explanation needed. If it doesnt feel right with my soul, it's a NO!

Fast forward a year. My life has changed by leaps and bounds. The first and most important change came from within. I took control of my life and my own happiness. It was difficult, I lost friends,distanced myself from certain family members(which was hard as h*ll.. Cuz family is blood, like there forever and here I am choosing not to be around a family member, just mark my forehead with a red X already )

 and chose to be surrounded with those that uplift me . I started living authentically again.. Full of honesty and without fears. I started to live from a place of love and when making choices asked myself: Is this in line with who I am? Am I doing this to please someone else or does it fill my soul with joy and happiness? My husband (whom i am separated from.. Happy to get that out there in the OPEN.. Whew.. Now lets move on) said he didn't know me anymore , that I have changed but in all actuality I just wanted to live authentically..so yes, I was a no longer the same person. I was growing/changing into who I knew I was on the inside. Is my life easy right now? Absolutely not, it's filled with uncertainty and the stress of trying to keep my children in a stable environment while dealing with adult issues.

 I'm not a man so don't really know how they think.. But I do know that as women, we are very intuitive, very in touch with our feelings, very soulful, and full of life and vibrancy.  So when someone tells you that you feel TOO much , I look at our world and tell them that the lack of feeling is what has got us where we are today. A world of chaos and turmoil, of people that are empty inside and always trying to live up to someone elses expectations yet are full of sadness.  People that are harming one another and themselves because they don't know how to love . 

So I am moving forward, one day at a time. I am surrounding myself with all that brings me joy.. I am living authentically and eager for all of the blessings that are headed my way.

So grateful for the lessons and for the storm that I'm in, because with this challenge comes great change.