The Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago my life was so different . I was complacent, living day to day but not enjoy life. Everything was a task to be done and most things seemed like a hassle. I had lost my drive, my spirit , my sparkle so to say. I was lost within my own body, a stranger to myself. All of the labels that others had given me were there, but to me they were just THAT.. Labels and nothing more.

The forst thing I did was I learned to say NO! I say no to things that do not align with who I am.. Things that I know are not good for me or my family get a firm and flat out NO.. And no explanation needed. If it doesnt feel right with my soul, it's a NO!

Fast forward a year. My life has changed by leaps and bounds. The first and most important change came from within. I took control of my life and my own happiness. It was difficult, I lost friends,distanced myself from certain family members(which was hard as h*ll.. Cuz family is blood, like there forever and here I am choosing not to be around a family member, just mark my forehead with a red X already )

 and chose to be surrounded with those that uplift me . I started living authentically again.. Full of honesty and without fears. I started to live from a place of love and when making choices asked myself: Is this in line with who I am? Am I doing this to please someone else or does it fill my soul with joy and happiness? My husband (whom i am separated from.. Happy to get that out there in the OPEN.. Whew.. Now lets move on) said he didn't know me anymore , that I have changed but in all actuality I just wanted to live authentically..so yes, I was a no longer the same person. I was growing/changing into who I knew I was on the inside. Is my life easy right now? Absolutely not, it's filled with uncertainty and the stress of trying to keep my children in a stable environment while dealing with adult issues.

 I'm not a man so don't really know how they think.. But I do know that as women, we are very intuitive, very in touch with our feelings, very soulful, and full of life and vibrancy.  So when someone tells you that you feel TOO much , I look at our world and tell them that the lack of feeling is what has got us where we are today. A world of chaos and turmoil, of people that are empty inside and always trying to live up to someone elses expectations yet are full of sadness.  People that are harming one another and themselves because they don't know how to love . 

So I am moving forward, one day at a time. I am surrounding myself with all that brings me joy.. I am living authentically and eager for all of the blessings that are headed my way.

So grateful for the lessons and for the storm that I'm in, because with this challenge comes great change.

Be YOU

Somehow in being a mother,wife,girlscout leader,friend,sister,daughter,cook,housekeeper,chauffeur..I lost myself. Everything else that I WAS took over who I REALLY WAS.... I sacrificed ME, in order to please everyone else and got caught up in being overly busy yet never really focusing 100% on any one thing. I also stopped doing the things that made me happy, the things that brought me joy. How did taking care of others trump taking care of myself?

I am not alone. Women tend to get caught up in "doing"... The act of "mothering" takes over our daily lives. We mother one another, we mother our kids sports teams and after school groups, we take on other people's problems as our own ( bad , BAD idea... As this is draining and just continuous negative energy), we mother our significant others. Nurturing is in our genes, it manifest itself in many different ways but as women we are the ONES that take care of things .. It's just how we are programmed. It is fine to mother others but we must remember to take care of ourselves . Taking care of YOU is so important and needed, after all if you don't take care of you, who will?

Some call it selfish, I call it self FULL. Being full of love for yourself, and taking the time to carve out some time daily to feed and nourish your mind, body and soul. What is it that you love to do? How would you spend 30 min to take care of your body? Or that same 30 min to nurture your soul? Think about it and BE about it.

Self love is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves , after all we must love our selves completely before we can completely love another.

namaste