I choose happiness

I look at this picture of myself and I see a different woman than I was a few years ago . I see a woman that has transitioned to a place of peace, love and joy.. A woman that has let go of fear, uncertainty and doubt. I am always growing , that's a fact . Yet for so many years I hid parts of myself , because of fear of what others  would think . I knew that I did not fit into any box and that I needed to follow a different path , to follow my heart .

I believe in love and passion and kindness . I believe in taking care of myself and others - mind , body and spirit . I believe in compassion and taking care of the Environment. I believe that it is my job to teach all of this to my children so that they know how to live their lives in such away that they continue to shine bright from within. 

This beautiful journey of life offers twists and turns and takes us to the darkest depths in order to expose the most beautiful gifts and blessings . I AM grateful for it all and continue to strive to live authentically with divine guidance . 

Many years ago as I sat in my uncertainty and fear... Today I choose happiness .

In Peace and Love

-A

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my 44th birthday . I like to think I'm not 44 years old but 44 years wise. Grateful for everything that has led me to right where I am. Last year was a challenge in so many ways, but also the year where I grew so much as a person. 

Last year I ran 3 half marathons, a 10k a 9k , a mud run and a color run. Thankful for my legs for carrying me!

I was able to be there for my children every single day. Thru tears and laughter, sadness and happiness , I was able to be there to support and comfort them. Grateful to be a stay at home mom .

Thankful for my good health and my willingness to learn and grow daily.  Thankful for my many friends who have been honest with me even when it hurt, comforted me when I was in pain , and loved me unconditionally .  I am blessed to have such amazing people in my life .

It has been a year of learning and growing, heartache and happiness , finding my faith and living authentically. 

Wishing myself a year of peace, happiness, abundance and good health. Living and loving with an open heart.

When we know that anything is possible ... ANYTHING is possible!! Creating the life I've always imagined, one day at a time. 

thank you for being a part of my journey.

In Love

-A

The Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago my life was so different . I was complacent, living day to day but not enjoy life. Everything was a task to be done and most things seemed like a hassle. I had lost my drive, my spirit , my sparkle so to say. I was lost within my own body, a stranger to myself. All of the labels that others had given me were there, but to me they were just THAT.. Labels and nothing more.

The forst thing I did was I learned to say NO! I say no to things that do not align with who I am.. Things that I know are not good for me or my family get a firm and flat out NO.. And no explanation needed. If it doesnt feel right with my soul, it's a NO!

Fast forward a year. My life has changed by leaps and bounds. The first and most important change came from within. I took control of my life and my own happiness. It was difficult, I lost friends,distanced myself from certain family members(which was hard as h*ll.. Cuz family is blood, like there forever and here I am choosing not to be around a family member, just mark my forehead with a red X already )

 and chose to be surrounded with those that uplift me . I started living authentically again.. Full of honesty and without fears. I started to live from a place of love and when making choices asked myself: Is this in line with who I am? Am I doing this to please someone else or does it fill my soul with joy and happiness? My husband (whom i am separated from.. Happy to get that out there in the OPEN.. Whew.. Now lets move on) said he didn't know me anymore , that I have changed but in all actuality I just wanted to live authentically..so yes, I was a no longer the same person. I was growing/changing into who I knew I was on the inside. Is my life easy right now? Absolutely not, it's filled with uncertainty and the stress of trying to keep my children in a stable environment while dealing with adult issues.

 I'm not a man so don't really know how they think.. But I do know that as women, we are very intuitive, very in touch with our feelings, very soulful, and full of life and vibrancy.  So when someone tells you that you feel TOO much , I look at our world and tell them that the lack of feeling is what has got us where we are today. A world of chaos and turmoil, of people that are empty inside and always trying to live up to someone elses expectations yet are full of sadness.  People that are harming one another and themselves because they don't know how to love . 

So I am moving forward, one day at a time. I am surrounding myself with all that brings me joy.. I am living authentically and eager for all of the blessings that are headed my way.

So grateful for the lessons and for the storm that I'm in, because with this challenge comes great change.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

” Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"