Balance

I've been told by a friend that I lack balance. This came as a shock to me because I have always multi tasked and have always felt balanced. I gave it some thought after being told that "as spiritual that you are and being a yogi, its interesting that you're not balanced at all". WTF?

I take on more than I can handle, my head is always spinning and then I take on more until eventually I have some kind of epiphany that I'm doing too much. That's balance right? I quit when I realize that I'm a hamster on a wheel going nowhere. I balance 3 kids, activities, teaching, social life etc... That's balance right? Or is it not because I'm so exhausted at the end of any given day.. That I crawl into bed exhausted and still can't sleep because my mind is racing.  I wake up with more to do in a day than i can handle and somehow cheat my way thru it. Major realization.. I. AM. SO. NOT. BALANCED.

So I raise my hand here.. Totally NOT balanced BUT working on it. Here are my goals to bring more balance into my life.

1. Say NO . No explanation required.

2. Make time for My practice daily.. Yoga and mediation 

3. Set a limit on kids activities , they don't need to be overbooked and neither do I 

4. Get organized so I don't waste time searching for things that are hidden in plain sight 

5. Get rid of the things that no longer serve me 

6. Take I time for ME, when I'm happy and have good energy, everything just seems to flow a little better

7. Make To-Do lists ( daily and weekly)

8. Use a calendar to keep track of activities : I have double booked half marathons a couple of times , expensive lesson

9. Un-plug - so very important to spend time face to face with people and not try to document every moment on social media. 

10. Realize that I can't do it all 

So thank you my friend , for being a true friend and speaking your truth . For forcing me to see (although it's taken awhile) how I could live more authentically. 

In every relationship, whether with a friend,co-worker,spouse ,partner or family member...we are there to teach one another and also to learn. Our only goal is to do so with an open heart and mind. What we see in others is usually a reflection of something within ourselves .

Being upside down

My dear friend encouraged me to go upside down awhile ago . I was nervous, afraid that is break my neck, too old, a mom (so no way I could do a headstand or handstand).. And every other excuse in the book. HOLD ON a minute.. I was also, strong, beautiful,confident and an amazing mom.. So why let anything hold me back? 

Here are some pics from my upside down journey.. Seeing the world from a different perspective , balancing my my mind ,body and spirit by forcing me to focus only on the moment.

My first solo headstand..somewhere between KY and GA

Second one!! St Augustine Florida

My absolute favorite photo! ❤ St. AugustineFlorida 

Michigan

On a field trip with my daughter- Chicago

In the middle of poison ivy :-/

And the journey continues.. Yoga anywhere and everywhere !

The Storm

I'm right here in the middle of it-- kind of ironic as its actually been storming everyday here in Chicago as well. Symbolic maybe?

Everyday has been a challenge, frustrating, trying and just plain Hard! I've wanted to crawl into a cave and hibernate.. Like a bear.. Sleep thru the cold winter and come out when the sun is shining. 

But then I realized that its better to walk right thru the storm with my head up! Rain on my face and embracing the thunder and lightening. Knowing that after it storms, the sun comes out and for some reason looks brighter than it ever has before. Isn't it funny how after an afternoon storm, the sun shines and you can hear the birds chirping away? Kind of like they are signaling that its over and it's ok to sing again.  We need rain, it helps everything grow and it cleanses, washing away the old and dirty and making way for new growth and new beginnings. So instead of wallowing in self pity and being stressed, I choose to put on my big girl panties, some high heels and some red lipstick and march straight thru this mess! 

We have a choice in how to deal with our obstacles... We ALWAYS have a choice. I CHOOSE strength, fearlessness and to walk thru the storm with love in my heart .

Teach Peace

Through my children's eyes I see peace. Through Their hearts I feel love. In their arms I feel content. -A. Renee

Children do not worry about the past nor stress about the future, they live constantly in the moment. Forever chasing butterflies and laying in the grass staring at the clouds in the sky. They are passionate, honest, loving and open. They can express every emotion possible on any given day yet when they close their eyes at night..they wake with a clean slate. They do not hold onto emotion as adults do. They do not hold onto anger nor stress and love others completely until they reach a certain age. 

Why is it that around 8 or 9 everything changes? The world hardens them..when they say that the sky is aqua, many start correcting them and say the sky is blue. When they want to play with dolls, they're told that those are for girls or that they are too old. WHO SAYS? WHO has the right to change their perspective..to tell them that everything they believe is incorrect? That their way of BEING is not acceptable? This is the first step of losing ourselves...of trying to fit in, of being unauthentic.

Many can disagree with me, and that's fine..as I live my life my way. I encourage my children to BE children...to dress how they want, to have fun wherever and whenever, to laugh and run and play...to eat breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast (because who made the rules of what to eat and when..I mean seriously?), to include the kids at school that aren't part of the "IN" crowd, because we are friends with kids because we like them, not because of what they wear or what new gadgets they have.  Sometimes I take my kids outside to SCREAM..yes to scream and let it out. Do you know what a release you get from screaming? We scream and giggle and then scream again...and its fantastic! Don't get me wrong, my house isn't a free for all...we have rules and bedtimes and chores. I am their mother yet I also have fun with them. By encouraging them to live fully, I hope that they will also encourage others to do the same. 

My children have taught me how to love unconditionally, how to be patient, how to have strength when I thought it wasn't possible and how to embrace each day. When I look at them, I see PEACE.

Take some time and spend with children, see how they play and live and love. Join them in the fun!

In my children's heart, they hold love. In my children's minds, they hold opportunity. In my children's hands, they hold the future. -A.Renee

The Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago my life was so different . I was complacent, living day to day but not enjoy life. Everything was a task to be done and most things seemed like a hassle. I had lost my drive, my spirit , my sparkle so to say. I was lost within my own body, a stranger to myself. All of the labels that others had given me were there, but to me they were just THAT.. Labels and nothing more.

The forst thing I did was I learned to say NO! I say no to things that do not align with who I am.. Things that I know are not good for me or my family get a firm and flat out NO.. And no explanation needed. If it doesnt feel right with my soul, it's a NO!

Fast forward a year. My life has changed by leaps and bounds. The first and most important change came from within. I took control of my life and my own happiness. It was difficult, I lost friends,distanced myself from certain family members(which was hard as h*ll.. Cuz family is blood, like there forever and here I am choosing not to be around a family member, just mark my forehead with a red X already )

 and chose to be surrounded with those that uplift me . I started living authentically again.. Full of honesty and without fears. I started to live from a place of love and when making choices asked myself: Is this in line with who I am? Am I doing this to please someone else or does it fill my soul with joy and happiness? My husband (whom i am separated from.. Happy to get that out there in the OPEN.. Whew.. Now lets move on) said he didn't know me anymore , that I have changed but in all actuality I just wanted to live authentically..so yes, I was a no longer the same person. I was growing/changing into who I knew I was on the inside. Is my life easy right now? Absolutely not, it's filled with uncertainty and the stress of trying to keep my children in a stable environment while dealing with adult issues.

 I'm not a man so don't really know how they think.. But I do know that as women, we are very intuitive, very in touch with our feelings, very soulful, and full of life and vibrancy.  So when someone tells you that you feel TOO much , I look at our world and tell them that the lack of feeling is what has got us where we are today. A world of chaos and turmoil, of people that are empty inside and always trying to live up to someone elses expectations yet are full of sadness.  People that are harming one another and themselves because they don't know how to love . 

So I am moving forward, one day at a time. I am surrounding myself with all that brings me joy.. I am living authentically and eager for all of the blessings that are headed my way.

So grateful for the lessons and for the storm that I'm in, because with this challenge comes great change.

Be YOU

Somehow in being a mother,wife,girlscout leader,friend,sister,daughter,cook,housekeeper,chauffeur..I lost myself. Everything else that I WAS took over who I REALLY WAS.... I sacrificed ME, in order to please everyone else and got caught up in being overly busy yet never really focusing 100% on any one thing. I also stopped doing the things that made me happy, the things that brought me joy. How did taking care of others trump taking care of myself?

I am not alone. Women tend to get caught up in "doing"... The act of "mothering" takes over our daily lives. We mother one another, we mother our kids sports teams and after school groups, we take on other people's problems as our own ( bad , BAD idea... As this is draining and just continuous negative energy), we mother our significant others. Nurturing is in our genes, it manifest itself in many different ways but as women we are the ONES that take care of things .. It's just how we are programmed. It is fine to mother others but we must remember to take care of ourselves . Taking care of YOU is so important and needed, after all if you don't take care of you, who will?

Some call it selfish, I call it self FULL. Being full of love for yourself, and taking the time to carve out some time daily to feed and nourish your mind, body and soul. What is it that you love to do? How would you spend 30 min to take care of your body? Or that same 30 min to nurture your soul? Think about it and BE about it.

Self love is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves , after all we must love our selves completely before we can completely love another.

namaste

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

” Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"